Conspiracy Theories, or, My Crush on All Three of The Lone Gunmen

Conspiracy theories are often born of extreme events, either positive or negative on the collective human experience. For example, conspiracy theories born from the tragedy of 9/11 to the theories surrounding the scientific advancement of our species with the moon landings. These theories help us to focus our fears of the known and unknown on one acceptable, and often out there to the point of ridiculousness, plotline, one which can conveniently fit any further information into it as either fact or further proof that someone is trying to spin the truth.

That we seek comfort and confirmation during a time of crisis or extreme emotion is part of human nature. We seek answers to questions that have no definitive conclusion, and falsifying a truth makes it easier for us to digest a scenario. The fear of the unknown is something we all struggle with. For others, conspiracy is a way of life born from patterns of behaviour and mental health issues. It's easy to become paranoid and hyper-aware of the alternative storylines when these are what haunt you, and easier to feel validated and reasonable when others divulge and encourage this. And for others, still, conspiracy theories provide for them an outlet for their contrarian needs, another entirely common aspect of human nature. We strive to be different, to stand out against the crowd. And while some conspiracy theories are harmless in that sense, I will go into detail later about how this contrarian or "anti" theme in modern conspiracy theories is super harmful to mankind.

I can't believe I'm about to write a post that might suggest gatekeeping, or have the faint scent of that "hipster" attitude. But modern conspiracy theories and theorists are ruining the good name and the inherent fun of conspiracy theories. No longer are conspiracy theories the underground subjects of nerds and geeks, they're the mainstream, anxiety inducing rhetoric of the politically insane. It's not fun anymore. It's scary, and stressful. I feel like past conspiracy theories and those who delved into them were fully aware of the nature of ridicule and almost took their research tongue in cheek. When I think of a conspiracy theorist, I think of Fox Mulder. I think of someone who has a sense of humour around their beliefs, someone who places their theories into the line of investigation when circumstances suggest it, not mould their theories to fit into the circumstance.

Classic conspiracy theories tended to relate specifically to a situation and would not necessarily be detrimental to the health and safety of mankind, though in some cases were detrimental to our intellectual advancement (see Flat Earth). When we discuss whether Stanley Kubrick was hired to fake the moon landings and dropped hints of this in The Shining, we're indulging our creativity. When we deep dive into the JFK assassination, sure we're being a bit woo-ee-woo. The Babushka Lady, the Umbrella Man, the grassy knoll. They're all targets of our suspicions. But these suspicions always tend to lead back to the greater truth and a noble mission: to expose the government for holding back information and lying to citizens. This isn't even a conspiracy theory, that's just truth. And if it takes a bizarre, collaborative effort to expose this in the guise of a wild conspiracy theory, then so be it. This same line of thought goes towards the UFO cover ups, although I don't have the time to go into the concept of forced conspiracy to throw us off the trail here, but it is interesting so head off on your own rabbit hole with that one.

And that is something which comes a lot with modern conspiracies. We're focused on the wrong thing, something which could very easily have been subliminally put forth to us in order to distract us from the real issues at hand. Which I know sounds like a conspiracy theory in itself, but you'll just have to bear with me! While you're focused on Pizza Gate and the Q Anon efforts to "HASHTAG SAVE THE CHILDREN" you're missing the child trafficking and sexual abuse that is happening right under your nose. They're misleading you, pointing you to the right while they fondle a boy on the left. Sorry.

Modern conspiracy theories just seem hell-bent on destroying mankind. Harming ourselves and others in a bid to show the man that we're onto him and that the system can't tell us what to do. But here's the thing, the system isn't a conspiracy. It's real, and we as a species with societal wants and needs set up this system to specifically tell us what to do. And it's not wrong to question that system! It's not wrong to stick it to the man. But vaccinate your children while you fight wealth hoarding and tax dodging. Wear a mask while you fight for POC rights. Force your political representatives to help feed the homeless with you.

The world isn't a conspiracy theory waiting to unfold. There are truths waiting to be exposed. And for those to be exposed, you need facts, proof and hard work. Not spouting unverified nonsense with no effort put behind your statements. It's literally just fact these days that children are trafficked and people are killed for knowing too much. We don't need to add other bizarre elements to these stories to make them news worthy. And sometimes it is hard to determine what is conspiracy theory and what is based in fact. It's a weird world we live in. But I would encourage you in these cases to only get involved in conspiracy theories that are aiming to help others. Pizzagate isn't trying to help children, it's trying to demonise people who have not yet been charged of a crime.

Dedicate yourself to the Free Britney Movement, let people know that Jeffrey Epstein didn't kill himself, express your distaste for the fact that New Coke was a marketing ploy to encourage consumers to buy the original recipe. Don't let yourself be dragged into a spiral of guilt, fear and untruths.